Walking My Father Home pt. 02

Walking My Father Home pt.1 →

Context is important. People close to me know my father and I were very close. I realize now, more than ever, how rare and extraordinary this is. I don’t have many friends, if any, that can relate to the depth of our relationship.

Since I was a child, I constantly sought my father’s wisdom. I’ve always seen him as a sage, and that’s a description he wanted to be worthy of (and is). He cared a lot about the details and people’s experience of life.

He listened closely, he always rooted for the underdog, he liked the “small town” Cheers kind of vibe, and he wasn’t concerned with other people’s opinion of him, but he did care a lot about how he impacted people around him.

He studied the wisdom of the sages. He took the doctorate program in theology at Oxford University. From as far back as I can remember, I’ve been sitting at his feet asking him deep theological and philosophical questions. We’d talk for hours, all the way up to the end.

He loved the music, culture, and message of U2. And he loved Bono, as a fellow sage, and a mentor. He loved hot rods just as much as a walk in nature, or an old silo in a field. And the man loved eagles, (and the number 48).

Dad and I shared so many of the same loves and appreciations about life. We used many of the same quotes and shared very similar philosophies. In 2012, we co-wrote a book together called, “Wisdom Meets Passion: Where Generations Collide and Collaborate”. Collaborating with him was one of my favorite experiences and greatest honors.

I have always revered my father. Not because he demanded it, but because he earned it. Every day. Even when I disagreed with him, he treated me with respect and didn’t hold a grudge. And he inspired me to do the same.

Dad was one of the most generous people I know. He gave so much away and was generous in serving others. His greatest desire was to have “An Understanding Heart”, which was the last book he published.

Dad inspired and helped so many people. And he still prioritized his family, always. He did both, with grace and integrity.

His relationship with my mother was storybook material. They are the best examples of love and deep connection I've ever witnessed. They showed us all what is possible in a true union of souls. It was real. And it was powerful.

I’ve shared stories about my father my whole life. Of when he took the high road when he could have easily chosen an easier path, or when he risked so much to help someone in need, or about the love notes he always leaves around the house for my mother.

I’d talk about how he was raised on an Old-Order Mennonite farm by formerly Amish parents. And how he built his first car in the chicken coup when he was 19.

Dad is a legend to all my friends. My parents housed, nurtured, and supported most of them over the years. They were always treated as family. And again, Dad was so generous and engaged with all of them. He also earned their respect and appreciation.

When I think of people I admire and respect in this world, my father is always at the top of the list. And I realize how privileged I am to have a father I feel that way about, and to have had such a deep and meaningful relationship with him.

I am eternally grateful for my journey with him.

In the last days with my father, I watched as so many people came to the house to have just one more moment with him. They knew that just being in his presence was inspiring. And in the end, they were even more impacted by how he navigated his death.

He taught us how to live well, and how to die well. His death journey has moved so many people. Dad was always so good at navigating major transitions, all the way through the end.

I realize my father and I had a unicorn of a relationship, and I feel like people could benefit from hearing that part of his legacy as well.

I’ve got lots more to share about it.

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My Mother, Brother, and Sister have been posting journal updates on the family since all of this started. Visit our CarringBridge Site →

As I continue to integrate my journey with my father, I’m taking some bigger leaps, and reinventing myself. As he often did. I just launched my new website, and it conveys a lot of where I’m at these days. Visit my website →

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