Walking My Father Home pt. 01

On December 1, 2023, I was in the Las Vegas Sphere with my father and brother, watching our favorite band of all time, U2. Dad planned this trip long ago and got tickets the day they went on sale.

Seeing U2 isn’t just a grand musical and visual experience for us, it’s spiritual, in so many ways. Bono has been inspiring me since I was 8 years old. I lived in Africa for a decade because of him. And I see so much of my father in him. Dad loves Bono and always credits him as one of his greatest influences.

On December 5th, Dad wasn’t feeling well and went to the hospital. On the 7th, he received the results of his CT scan that revealed he had stage four pancreatic cancer. The doctors gave him 6 - 9 months to live. Our family was shattered.

I realize how fortunate I am to have such a close and loving relationship with my father. He’s one of my closest friends. I hadn’t thought of losing him before. He’s so mindful and intentional about his emotional, physical, relational, and spiritual health. He’s the envy of most his age, at 76.

He and my mother, Joanne, have been married for 55 years. Their relationship is the most wonderful example of love I have ever witnessed. It’s legendary, of Romeo and Juliet lore.

I boarded a plane from San Diego to Sarasota, Florida on the 9th. My sister, Ashley and her family live there already, and my brother, Kevin arrived the same day I did. Soon after, my brother’s wife and 6 of his 9 children joined us.

On January 21, 2024, just 48 days after his CT scan, my father left his body, to be born into the next chapter of his existence, to become formless love.

Yesterday, February 2, was my birthday—the first without Dad. Mom handed me a card that said “To Our Son”, and we both broke down in the restaurant. On the ride home, she turned on “Where the Streets Have No Name” in his honor. We cried again.

65 days ago I was with my Dad and my brother singing along with U2 in Vegas. 13 days ago Dad “dropped his body”, as the Buddhists say.

I am extremely grateful for the privilege of walking my father home over those 6 weeks. Now it’s two weeks later and I’m ready to write about our journey together.

I’m going to do it in a series. I hope you’ll join me.
Dad is still teaching us all, perhaps through some of these words as I allow him to speak through me. He had a lot to convey in those sacred 48 days.

A few weeks before Dad passed over to the other side, we built a tribute website for him, so he could be part of the celebration of his life. Today, there are over 500 tributes from people inspired by his life.

My Mother, Brother, and Sister have been posting journal updates on the family since all of this started. Visit our CarringBridge Site →

As I continue to integrate my journey with my father, I’m taking some bigger leaps, and reinventing myself. As he often did. I just launched my new website, and it conveys a lot of where I’m at these days. Visit my website →

Subscribe
Receive updates in your inbox each time I post. Subscribe →
Visit JaredAngaza.com →